Thinking Words of Sporadic Wisdom

Sabiduria (Wisdom)

For me that’s a special word, I often associate the word with one’s ability to see past the book cover, outer appearance, and/or in general how one has progressed throughout the course of a lifetime.  Although most common affiliated with the elderly because I’d hope most people by that time in their life have come to understand something about the world and his/her self in general (here comes my point). Wisdom can be found everywhere (as corny as that may sound) but true wisdom or at least the search for it is not as difficult as one may presume to believe so.  Sometimes you can even find it in all the most unexpected places.  But the most important key to this is keeping your mind open to pursuing this ideal.  I mean why one wouldn’t want to become wiser (to me that just sounds cool as well, weird yes I know).

Alright let me pause for a second because I feel like I’m going off in a tangent that I usually would never write about on paper (text in this case), I normally just leave the thoughts in my head and subconscious and store them in there like a hard drive to a computer.

Let’s see why am I bringing up this subject to begin with? Well for one it takes a special person to do what I’m doing right now, (I’m not trying to show off or praise myself by any means) it’s just lately I’ve been seeing clearer the entirety of my job as a PC Volunteer.  Part of me has always been somewhat frustrated/a little upset when being around other volunteers and the subject of work comes up (projects, classes, etc.) Until now I just felt that way because of all my suppressed thoughts that were building up and I was being the same person I’ve always been and held things in until they boil over like water in a pot. In a sense it does have something to do with it, but I realized I always wanted to avoid the topic because of the structure in which it was often phrased.  Our communities/jobs/and lives are all mixed together so it’s only natural to constantly talk about the subject.  In my mind though I felt that what we were doing here wasn’t supposed to be characterized as “how much stuff (projects) do you have going on?” rather to me the topics have always been a little more sensitive and just more of a personal topic that I (like my personality) have never really been comfortable sharing personal info.  Why? Maybe because I see that a lot of what we do is almost a direct reflection of our personality and to me that just didn’t sit too comfortably (If you know me I’m not the most open book to read, rather you almost have to pry it open with a crowbar).

Okay I’m losing the flow right now and getting confused as to what I’m actually writing/talking about right now.  Let’s see if I can stay focused (I feel like the dog on UP right now, SQUIRREL!).

A lot of my experience so far has been characterized by English Classes to a select part of my community (most interested are the kids) something I never quite imagined I’d be doing (well to be honest I had no clue what I’d be doing, all I knew was my specific title was going to be Economic Development Facilitator).  But in all reality that title threw me off my main course for a while and I forgot I am first and foremost I am here as a Volunteer in general, here to promote peace, help show the face of America in a more positive image, and eventually share to America a little about my experience (a good example is through this right here).

As of now I still have plenty of time left as a volunteer but definitely not as much as I did when I first arrived.  In about a week I will hopefully be moving to my own house where I will be learning much more about myself than I’m sure I could ever imagine. I’m excited about the transition and change of lifestyle in which I’d never thought I would experience at the age of 23.  I really am just writing as I go right now, sorry about this, I’m just feeling good and positive about my future left in Costa Rica (it’s been a while of having this “normal” feeling). Never did I imagine I would be learning so much about myself in the time span that I’ve been here (nor did I even expect it, for some reason I just didn’t even think about it until it hit me like a bullet train).  My whole idea of joining Peace Corps was always just concentrated on the idea of sharing my gift of an education with the rest of the world (and making sure (although a little egotistical) my family could see me and just be proud).  That word definitely carries a whole lot of meaning as well (but that’s for another day hopefully).

As time continues I hope to continue with my process of trying to share my thoughts as for the person (maybe profession) I eventually would like to undertake constitutes a lot more than just writing my thoughts on paper for myself (well hopefully no everything, but at least the positive things inside of it).

I’m going to stop making excuses for my writing being all sporadic (and I’ll try in general as well) but I just wanted to give a heads up.

Bueno pues a ver si entienden por lo menos algo de lo que escribí porque en realidad no creo que yo mismo sepa lo que acabo de escribir.  Aunque sigue pasando anos, meses, días, horas, minutos, y segundos, nunca se olviden de la mentalidad de que usted debe querer su vecino como crearas que te quieren.  Y también (esto va ser un poco mas filosófico) pero hay va, no dejen que la menta se complique tanto, la vida es simple, aprovechen cada día, esas cositas que no urgen olvídalos y disfrute la vida.

Growing Up Bi-Cultural, Living Cultured Pt. II

The idea of bi-cultural will never escape me nor will be anything simple to live by.  But a wise friend of mine did open my eyes a bit to the uniqueness of the topic.  In many parts of the USA new “breeds” are being created and moldered together as one (yet still to this day many have trouble viewing themselves equally).  I’m sure you can understand that by new breeds I’m talking about being Mexican-American, African-American, Chinese-American, etc, the idea of having another culture on top of a growing one.  That is the face of America and the new breed that has come to be known as the body and shape of what constitutes the North American Dream.

Personally speaking though I’ve always seen the test of being a Mexican-American as a little bit of a chip on my shoulder and a more of a test than some of the other races (this is just my personal reflection and does not discredit any others).  But from my days in San Diego (one of the least Hispanic dominated border towns in the States) I’ve always felt like I’ve never and (probably never will) be accepted fully by either America or Mexico, even though I am considered both.  Part of my reasoning to join Peace Corps was in order to experience the actual lifestyle of living in a Latin American country and compare and contrast my Latin American (in America) experience to the real version.  So far I can say that my experience has lived up to my thoughts and expectations.  But it has also surprisingly sparked a new found interest in living in Mexico sometime in my future.  Why Mexico? Well other than the most obvious reason that I am Mexican by birth parents, I feel you don’t truly understand your past, present, or future until experiencing something of what your parents experienced prior to your birth (this may not be true or believable to others, but to me I think experiencing a little of what my parents may have experienced could very well open your mind even more than you could have ever imagined so).

Automatically that respect should increase, but even so that thought process is an important one regardless.  As discussed in the prior post part I, putting yourself in the eyes of another can cease ignorance as well as increase the realms of your thinking process (leading to a lot of more good stuff, hopefully).

If this post seems sloppy or hard to comprehend forgive me, but I’m writing in the front patio of my host house and sweating profusely without even moving. All I’ve been doing is typing this whole time and I feel hotter and sweatier than a pig in a barn.

That is beside the point, but I do hope that dream can eventually come true.  Growing up so close to my family and extended family (cousins, aunts and uncles, and abuelitas) I’ve always appreciated that part of my life extremely because of rarity of it throughout the States, but not so much here in Costa Rica or in Latin American countries for a matter of fact (or many other countries as well).  Family is stressed daily and the small town lifestyle has actually grown a lot on me.  I appreciate the daily hellos from all the townspeople who recognize me, know me, or don’t even know me whatsoever.  One can grow to appreciate it after coming from a city lifestyle where no one even looks at you anymore.

Eventualmente voy a ver cómo me va con todo aquí en el pueblo, espero que yo pueda tener ese cambio que ocupo para lograr algo de éxito con mi crecimiento personal para poder hacer ese motivador que necesitan en el Abanico.  Entiendo que todo no debe caer solo en mis manos y por fin comprendí que no solo vine para ayudar a otros pero para también ayudar a mí.  Bueno pues espero que estén bien todos y les extraño mucho.